It seems to me that men and women often have very different taste in names. If you've ever discussed baby names with your boyfriend/spouse/partner, did you find you mostly agreed on the kinds of names you'd choose, or were your tastes different? What sort of names do you like? What sort of names does he/she like? Are there any good "compromise" names you've found that satisfy both your tastes?
How is your taste in baby names different from your partner's?
I wouldn't say that our tastes are VERY different, but we certainly found plenty to disagree about!
I would have to agree with Laoise's experience, that men often don't really KNOW what their taste is, or why they like certain names and dislike others. They simply don't think about it or analyze it.
By constantly asking questions (not accusingly) and getting feedback, I realized my husband liked pretty and feminine names for girls (even cutesy ones), he likes family names, and he likes names that have in common use for a long time (especially 19th century names). That made me see we would probably be able to agree on at least a few names.
Things we disagree about:
- he thinks any girl's name with an M is automatically beautiful
- I feel like he is picking names for girls that he'd like to DATE!! As in, I think the names are a bit too "sexy" to be choosing for your daughter (but maybe I'm too prudish)
- he has no idea of what names are popular, so he automatically picks names like Chloe, Emma and Lily and then gets annoyed when I point out how many other kids are going to be called that. He must live in his own world - we know of about ten kids called Chloe and then he says, "I've never heard that name before".
- he has an aversion to any name from the Bible (even ones like Alexander that aren't particularly "Biblical") or that have religious overtones (like Anastasia or Dominic). I think this is ridiculous, since we are not atheists and even attend church. Meanwhile, I prefer it if the name is a saint's name or otherwise tied in with Christian history (really quite a pickle that one).
- however he isn't even consistent since one of his favorite names ever is Miriam! I think just because it begins and ends with an M! And he loves Angelina and wants it for every middle name, even though that is religious. Please don't ask me to explain this!!!!
- he hates every single name beginning with J - but somehow he thinks Jack is a good name for a boy (despite it being a pet form of John which is in the Bible). I might point out that I just love names starting with J, and so does everyone else I know!
- he dislikes names that sound "too Scottish", even though both our families have Scottish heritage. However, I have managed to slip Violet, Madelina and Arabella onto our list, which are traditional names in Scottish history. Not sure if this is inconsistent, or he just doesn't know. (Madelina also has Christian background - it must be the M).
- any nice handsome interesting boy name I've come up has been criticized for sounding "gay" or "weird". Apparently he only really likes one boy's name and that's Arthur. What we do if we have more than one boy is a mystery!
However, after several months of name wrangling, we have actually come up with a workable namelist. I know if I did it by myself it would have a lot more creative and literary names on it, and if he did it by himself it would be half top 10 and half from the 1880 top 20.
So I guess what's left is the place where our tastes converge.
Reply:Oh dear ... they're odd we love them!!! Thank you! Report Abuse
Reply:If you were to ask my husband his favorite names, he would spout off: Gabriel, Alexander, and Michael. No girl names. And his reasoning behind these names: Gabriel and Michael are angels. Alexander was from a video game.
However, over time and lots of specific inquiries of specific names, I've learned that for boys he likes names that are strong (but not necessarily overly masculine) and Biblical and for girls he tends to prefer names that are softer and clearly feminine (he also somewhat likes names for girls that can have cutesy nicknames). And names that honor family (for either gender) earns bonus points. And, really, that's pretty similar to my own tastes. The difference was that he hadn't done the research, he just plain didn't have the shear volume of names at his brain's disposal that I had. And while if you were to ask him what names he likes, he'd still rattle off the original three, I know that there is a plethora of others that he holds dear. While I wasn't too keen on using his three favorites (nothin wrong with them, just not for me) as first names, I'm highly considering on using them as middle names.
I think the main aspect that helped me tap into his style most is once I found a few names that he liked, I'd then ask him WHY he liked them. Which was sometimes hard to articulate, so I had to help him figure out the why, but I am not confident that we BOTH like our name list.
Reply:I'm a hardcore namenerd, so I have a very carefully cultivated and unusual taste in names that draws a lot on mythology, literature, and history. I am thinking about names a lot more than is healthy for someone who is neither pregnant nor trying to become pregnant, and more than just deciding which individual names appeal to me comes with the territory; I give a lot of thought to combos as well. Some of my favorite names are Athena, Helena, Daphne, and Fiona for girls %26amp; Desmond, Dorian, Robin, and Quentin for boys.
My boyfriend, on the other hand, is reluctant to even THINK about names...and if he ever does, it's pretty clear that he's stuck in a very '80s naming style because the only names he's really been exposed to on a regular basis are his classmates' names. He likes names like Nathan and Ashley.
I think the way we will eventually compromise is this: I will bombard him with names, and see which names he responds to the least negatively. I will then begin the careful and passionate process of coercing him into coming around to these names (at the moment, I have discovered that Athena seems to be a prime candidate for girls).
Reply:The names we both liked, were names we both loved... but there are about 10 names total that we agree on:
Matthew - used as our oldest son's first name
Michael - used as our oldest son's middle name
Nathaniel - used as our youngest son's first name
Xavier - used as our youngest son's middle name
Thomas
Elizabeth
Catherine
Rose
Suzanna
Lorelei
He doesn't really have any other names (that I know of) that he likes...
I also like names like Theodore, Benjamin, Alexander/Alexandra, William, Josephine, Margaret and other long, classic names... but, for some reason, he doesn't like these (even though, IMO, they are similar in style to the ones he does like!)
Also, I like names like Oliver, Teague, Felix, Malachi, Sebastian, Ezra, Tate, Tatum, Esmee, Alastar, Daisy, Maeve, Crispin, and Rhys - less common names with (IMO) a lot of personality... these names are just too much for him! LOL
Reply:Apparently we have very different tastes. I made a list of about 30 girl names and 30 boy names when I was about 3 months pregnant. It took me hours of research on meanings, finding middle names that work together, and how it all sounded with our last name. I saved it all in a word document and had him sit down and browse through it, deleting what he didn't like. Within 5 minutes, there was 1 boy name and 1 girl name left. Next time, we better either have a boy (so we can have the remaining name on the list) or HE'S doing the research!!
Reply:It was kind of rough picking out a name with my husband. I like more unusual names, like Hugo and Gideon and Calvin. My husband took my list down to James and William, and 'maybe' Dexter for a second boy, but it wasn't good enough for the first born. I basically handed him my name list and let him whittle it down. Amazingly enough, the girl's names were pretty easy. He liked Daphne off of my top ten, and that was that. Middle names were easy. We agreed on family names. The first girl and second boy have middle names from my side, and the first boy and second girl have middle names from his side.
Reply:Well not exactly my partner my brother.I'm 8 and he's 4 we draw pictures together and we kept arguing on what name the people in the pictures were called.I liked Jordan and Zoe and he likes Master Yoda(Star Wars) and no girl names or the other boy name is something like Hotshot.He also likes Jordan a little so i guess we both have the same taste in boy names.
Reply:Hubby and I differ greatly in opinions on names. We compromised on a different (unique) or old fashioned first name (not our own) and then chose a middle name that had some family connection, like same midddle name as dad or grandpa. In our case we had too many Mary's in family, would not even consider making an 8th Mary in the family.
Reply:My hubby and I originally planned on having kids, but as of right now we've decided not to. However when we were going to, our baby names were going to be Sophia or Isabella (Ella for short). We really didn't have a difficult time at all. I told him that these were the names that I like and he totally agreed!
Now...should we decide to have kids %26amp; get pregnant he may change his mind...but that remains to be seen! :-)
Reply:yea we have totally different tastes!
my bf likes names that are classic like
elizabeth
peter
jeremiah
alexandrea
were i like differenter, pretty names that are unique like:
ocean
autum
nessa
rose
lily
robin
so me and my bf made an agreement, wen we have childern were gonna pick a name we both like:
elizabeth
lily
jeremiah
ocean
i doubt well have more kids then 4 lol
Reply:I honestly don't know, the first names I threw at him he was like 'yeah' and so thats what our kids are named.
However he did tell me he liked the name Tahnie, which I dont coz I went 2 school with a horrible one, and he has a son from a previous relationship and I don't like his name either.
Reply:YES! I like more unique, and trendy names (that wont look too dated) my husband likes more traditional names. were ttc, and he likes: samantha, amy, taylor
i like alexis, madelyn, tayla, and avery.
weve compromised on lorelai and logan (logan for a boy)
Reply:My hubby likes semi-common popular names. I like unique, old-world, or fantastical names.
So, basically we're opposites. Although since we don't have any kids yet, it isn't currently a problem. We'll figure something out when the time comes.
Reply:Me and my boyfriend talk about baby names every now and then. And his taste in names is soooo 90s. I can't stand it! He likes names like Chelsea, Candace, and Melanie. I think I'm going to be the one naming our children. lol
interesting q, btw...
Reply:For the most part, we agree on baby names. I tend to like more unique names, and he tends to go more for family names. But we decided no family names and nothing too weird. We like Maddox Noah and Addy-Beth Rayne.
Reply:me and one of my ex boyfriend have discussed baby names before (NOT that we were planning on having any soon lol)
we both agreed that if we had a boy and girl, their names would be Riot (boy) and Havok (girl)
Reply:No. Hubby and I have had no problem in agreeing with this baby's name. Now we're working on the middle name!
Good Luck!(?)
Reply:very different
Reply:ex and i had agreed for a girl we agreed on Whitney Hayden and for a boy it was Layden Colby
Reply:Yes. My partner likes traditional and I like made up yet cute names, like Janalynn. (Jane - Ah - Lynn)
Reply:i have none
flamingo flower
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment